Sunday, February 13, 2011

I am a Bulldozer!


I am a Bulldozer.
Off the soccer field I am an average girl, a friendly person, and somewhat of a jokester.
But on the soccer field I AM A BULLDOZER!
Once the whistle blows,
I am mentally focused, intense, and tough.
Like a bulldozer that runs over and crushes any obstacles in its way, I run girls over with no hesitation, or without any second thoughts in order to get the job done.
Like a Bulldozer that is so strong it can go through any rock or surface, I play with the strength of a Bulldozer, that no matter the size of my opponent, I will bulldoze through them to win the ball.
Like a Bulldozer, I don't think, I just DO.
Like a Bulldozer that is so tough and smashes anything in its path, nothing or no one will stand in my way or stop me from winning the ball.
I will do whatever I can possibly do- push, shove, pull or bulldoze through them- to win the game.
No one will want to go against a bulldozer!
A Bulldozer is hard as steel and it feels no pain.  No matter what, it still bulldozes through everything and anything.  Just like me, there is no such thing as pain.  It is always “Mind over matter AND Pain doesn't matter!”
I am a Bulldozer (:
Until our game is done I don't stop bulldozing. When we are the CHAMPIONS, then that is when the Bulldozer is put to sleep until the next game.
I AM A STRONG, TOUGH, ROUGH, INTENSE & FOCUSED BULLDOZER!
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3 comments:

  1. AngelicaFebruary 13, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    You expressed your metaphor really good, Abby. I tink it best describes you! Although, dont forget to add "I am a bulldozer" as the last line in your poem. You might want to review you choice in words though, I suggest you take out lines 17-19 & 21-22 because you do have already more than 12 lines in your poem itself. But overall, you did a great job in comparing your metaphor to yourself. :) -Angelica

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  2. Lex (xFebruary 13, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    Hey Abby ! (:

    You poem is good, but the thing is that your poem is a simile, not a metaphor. On your second line you're talking the opposite thing of what you're trying to do. Talk more about how you can relate to a bulldozer. When you're writing a poem, don't try to use the line " like a bulldozer " a lot. It's not really necessary to repeat it again and again. Overall, if you change it to a metaphor poem it should be fine.

    - Lex :D

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  3. lsueokaFebruary 24, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    Hi Abby,
    First off, ignore the comment about shortening your poem to 12 lines...that was a minimum, not a maximum. And, anyway, a critique comment that only looks at line count is not very helpful.
    I'm not sure why Lex says your poem is not a metaphor. It does have some "like" comparisons, but it IS an extended metaphor.

    Good luck on the video...you'll need both soccer and bulldozer footage for that one :)
    mrs s

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