Grandma's House
When I walked through the black, squeaking screen door, I saw my cousins running around crazy, my nieces, and nephews playing with each other, and my aunts and uncles laughing and talking with one another. As I threw off my DC shoes, I sprang into the house saying "Hi" to all my family and then ran over to my Grandma and gave her a huge hug and kiss. She asked me, "How was your day today?" I answered with a sigh, "It was alright. I was really tired and feeling a little drowsy, but now that I'm with YOU, my day feels so much more exciting!"
I love being with Grandma, and being at her house. Grandma's house is comfortable, and warm (literally and emotionally). Even from when I was a little baby I remember always being excited to be at Grandma's house, being able to go outside into her back yard and lay on the thick, soft green grass which is enclosed by her gray wooden fence. Or we'd go in her yard and pick up weeds or cut the branches from her trees in her yard with her, and then sit in her little concrete patio with her drinking lemonade, or soda (Grandma loves to drink soda).
But I mostly enjoy staying inside Grandma's wooden beige house. Grandma's whole house isn't that big, but it always seems to have enough room for everyone. Grandma's blue kitchen, although small, seems to somehow fit all my aunt's in the kitchen cooking. Grandma's blue kitchen, which was just remodeled by all her kids, is like an L shaped kitchen, with a granite counter top that has speckles of brown, beige, blue, white and black in it. Grandma's newly remodeled kitchen also has a stainless steel refrigerator (which is taller than everyone in our family) and convection oven that all my Aunt's love cooking and baking in. Her stainless steel kitchen sink has two sides, and both sides are big enough for my baby brother to bathe in, which is usually where we bathe him when at Grandma's. And her new cabinets match the brown speckles that are in her counter top.
In Grandma's dining room, her flooring has a pretty cool curved shaped design made out of her brown and white ceramic tiles, her walls are painted beige with white trims, and has 1 table with 6 chairs and 2 counter top stools, which is were where all the men usually sit cracking jokes, talking about sports, and filling the home with laughter.
In Grandma's living room is her 60" big screen TV (Mom & Dad bought for her), sitting on top of Grandma's beige plush carpet, which all us kids love laying down on, with her 3-piece leather furniture, which is always nice and cool when you touch it because the doors are always open to let the breeze blow through (and because all us kids always run in and out of the house anyways).
But we especially love Grandma's master bedroom, which is also painted beige with white trims, and has a California King Size bed to fit all us kids and Grandma on when she tells us her stories. And of course Grandma's room has the plush carpet in there as well so us kids will sleep on her soft, pillow top bed, or on her beige plush carpet. One of the things my sisters and I used to do in Grandma's room is play dress up, because Grandma has a huge closet filled with all her muumuu's, high heels, and pretty blouses, and Grandma would let us put on whatever we wanted, even her jewelry and hair wigs, and we would run around the house with all that on. Grandma would just laugh when she saw us with those things on.
But like they say, every good thing has to come to an end, and so usually around 1am or 2am everyone starts to leave Grandma's house to go back to their own home. I'm always that last person to kiss Grandma good bye because I like to hug her extra long, and tell her I love her a lot before we leave.
I love being with Grandma, and being at her house. Grandma's house is comfortable, and warm (literally and emotionally). Even from when I was a little baby I remember always being excited to be at Grandma's house, being able to go outside into her back yard and lay on the thick, soft green grass which is enclosed by her gray wooden fence. Or we'd go in her yard and pick up weeds or cut the branches from her trees in her yard with her, and then sit in her little concrete patio with her drinking lemonade, or soda (Grandma loves to drink soda).
But I mostly enjoy staying inside Grandma's wooden beige house. Grandma's whole house isn't that big, but it always seems to have enough room for everyone. Grandma's blue kitchen, although small, seems to somehow fit all my aunt's in the kitchen cooking. Grandma's blue kitchen, which was just remodeled by all her kids, is like an L shaped kitchen, with a granite counter top that has speckles of brown, beige, blue, white and black in it. Grandma's newly remodeled kitchen also has a stainless steel refrigerator (which is taller than everyone in our family) and convection oven that all my Aunt's love cooking and baking in. Her stainless steel kitchen sink has two sides, and both sides are big enough for my baby brother to bathe in, which is usually where we bathe him when at Grandma's. And her new cabinets match the brown speckles that are in her counter top.
In Grandma's dining room, her flooring has a pretty cool curved shaped design made out of her brown and white ceramic tiles, her walls are painted beige with white trims, and has 1 table with 6 chairs and 2 counter top stools, which is were where all the men usually sit cracking jokes, talking about sports, and filling the home with laughter.
In Grandma's living room is her 60" big screen TV (Mom & Dad bought for her), sitting on top of Grandma's beige plush carpet, which all us kids love laying down on, with her 3-piece leather furniture, which is always nice and cool when you touch it because the doors are always open to let the breeze blow through (and because all us kids always run in and out of the house anyways).
But we especially love Grandma's master bedroom, which is also painted beige with white trims, and has a California King Size bed to fit all us kids and Grandma on when she tells us her stories. And of course Grandma's room has the plush carpet in there as well so us kids will sleep on her soft, pillow top bed, or on her beige plush carpet. One of the things my sisters and I used to do in Grandma's room is play dress up, because Grandma has a huge closet filled with all her muumuu's, high heels, and pretty blouses, and Grandma would let us put on whatever we wanted, even her jewelry and hair wigs, and we would run around the house with all that on. Grandma would just laugh when she saw us with those things on.
But like they say, every good thing has to come to an end, and so usually around 1am or 2am everyone starts to leave Grandma's house to go back to their own home. I'm always that last person to kiss Grandma good bye because I like to hug her extra long, and tell her I love her a lot before we leave.
This essay is pretty good. I like how you described the way your Grandma's house looked and felt like with lot sensory details which made the voice sound good. Another thing I liked was how this essay was organized so that each paragraph(except the intro) tells what a part of your grandma's house is like and what happens there. There was a punctuation error I found which was "aunt's". You should take out the apostrophe unless you are talking about something your aunt owns. One last thing when you were describing your Grandma's kitchen you don't have to put "Grandmas blue kitchen twice" since the reader will already know your Grandma's Kitchen is blue. The same thing when you were describing the carpet in your grandma's room. But other than that this essay was good.
ReplyDeleteHeeey;)Abby.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you organized your essay,the way you transistion from arriving to what you enjoy and leaving was smooth.I can hear your voice clearly,i can everything happening in my mind,but you could take out the part where the kitchen is blue,you descibed that twice.i like your word choice you used specific words.Sentence Flucency is kind of weird to me your sentences are long,you should maybe shorten it up a bit.
-you owe me hershey's cookiesncream;)
bye abby.
Hi Abby,
ReplyDeleteGreat job on this essay. You've provided specific detail about your grandma's house, details that are connected to people and activities that are part of your emotion and memories.
I agree with Sierra and Aldrin about the repetitive parts, and I would add...select only the details that are significant. I would also recommend that you include more specific detail about what goes on in the kitchen (what dishes do you remember that the aunts cook?) or Grandma's room (what stories does she tell?)
Sierra also had a point about the long sentences. Some of them are run ons and should be separated into two.
Good job!
mrs s